I just learned that I am an ancient lizard, laser-beam yielding, fire-starter

Is there a self-help book for that?

I had no idea that I had two faces! Thanks to: David Clode, Unsplash.

What. The. Fuck.

Lately, I haven’t been feeling like myself. And I finally know why. You would suffer from chronic fatigue too if you were busy repressing your inner-lizard Jew.

Thanks to: capnsnap, Unsplash

Confessions of a lizard who grew up as a Jewish girl

My elementary school classmates — who told me I had “N****r hair” and taped pennies in my yearbook to remind me of what a penny-pinching, Jewfro-bearing, despicable girl I was - were clearly just defending themselves. They knew about the Rothschildean wealth my parents were hiding, whereas I had the ignorant audacity to just want to be liked.

My childhood photo; can’t you just see the lizard-essence of my hair???

Shady humanitarian work, in Bosnia no less

In my humanitarian 20’s, I went off to Bosnia. There I learned the local language, had a serious relationship with a Muslim man, consoled friends who shared the trauma of living through the Sarajevo siege and ethnic-cleansing, and registered Srebrenica survivors to vote.

Proof of my intellectual Jewish lizardess

Plus, Pop taught Jewish and black history. It doesn’t matter that he also suffered malnutrition due to poverty as a child, served in World War Two, and was grateful to reach tenure at a state college despite never achieving his Ph.D. due to health issues.

  1. Having Jewish parents, who did Jewish things. At a state college, no less, so nefarious.
  2. Working with non-American Christians, Catholics (Christian questionable), and Muslims in the Balkans. Don’t get me started.

My lizard puzzle has infinite pieces

That’s all really just the precursor to me now. In my 50’s, I’m living in Mexico with a, (can you believe it?), Mexican husband and child. I’ve gone full-blown reptile.

My how I’ve grown! Thanks to: Francesco Ungaro, Pexels

Certified Functional Health Coach. Cofounder, Health Coaches Without Borders. Chronic illness & the health & wellness movement; Jewish life; Mexico; & more.

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